Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Randomize
