I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
what day is it and did you see me today?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
