check it out our google latitudes are spooning
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
