Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Just puked most of my soul out..
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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