Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
