Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
