She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
