Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
