I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
