I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
