Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
