If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
