i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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