she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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