I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
