Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
