do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Even my vagina gasped.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I need to sanitize my soul.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
