I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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