My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
