She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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