idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
