too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize