this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
