Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
