New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You pole danced in your parka.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize