i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
