No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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