And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
