apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
