According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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