i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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