brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
