Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
