I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
