Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
