You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
