I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
