Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
