Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
