I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
