Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
