They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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