We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
