'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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