I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Randomize
