Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
