is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
FUCK WHALES
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
