You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
