We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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