Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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