i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
