Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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