why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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